Life after loss, goes on.

There are people out there who dwell on the sadness and negativity of life and then there are the people who accept the worst and make the best out of it. I, a mother who has been tested beyond her limits, have accepted the fact that life itself isn’t made of fairy tales and rainbows but try to live everyday like it’s my last.

We read books and watch movies of love and family and set out on a journey to achieve the ultimate dream of the perfect life with kids, a spouse, dream home, and all the little things that make up the fairytale life that these books and movies perceive. Each story has these five main parts : 1. exposition 2. rising action 3. climax 4. falling action 5. resolution. Usually number three, the climax, is the most interesting part. Like when the girl breaks up with the guy only later to realize that they were meant for each other. Or when the man nearly looses his life fighting the fire. It could be anything.

That is the part of my life story that most people hear about.

You see, just a year and half ago, I found myself standing in the hallway of Our Lady of The Lake Hospital. My son was barely a year old and also, barely alive. He was thrown from the car in an accident and now he was fighting for life. He was in surgery for the 8th time in 3 days, and I was crumbling. The doctors and surgeons were trying their best  to keep my baby alive, and I am forever grateful for that.

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My life came to a halt when I was told that my baby boy, Cameron, was not going to make it. Everything around me stopped. My body went numb and I felt nothing. The doctor asked me repeatedly if I was okay. I couldn’t talk, couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t even cry. Some people say I was in shock, others just say it was a normal reaction.

May 13, 2013 Cameron passed away in my arms.


But like all stories, they go on.  My life’s story still continues to develop even though my son’s life ended. It wasn’t until after loosing him, I realized what life really is about. I don’t stress over not having the perfect pair of boots for my favorite winter outfit. I don’t worry when money gets tight and the bills pile up. I don’t let the negativity of this world bring me down any more.

I have realized that the most treasured moments in life will not be buying that dream home, but the memories that will be made inside. It’s the laughter of my children playing at the park. It’s the way my baby girls curls bounce in the sunlight. The smile I get after kissing my oldest son good night before bed. These are the moments that most will take for granted. These are the moments that I live for now.

My little baby boy has taught me so much, even though he only knew three words. He has forever changed me and given me a new meaning of life. He has opened my eyes and heart to what’s important and has taught me to LIVE every single day like there is no tomorrow.

Afterall, life is what you make it, so what will you do with yours?


Why didn’t anyone tell me I was wrong?

Have you ever seen someone do something that you know was wrong but were too afraid to tell them? For instance…. let’s say you know a good bit about car seats and you see a lady in the Wal-Mart parking lot that has her child in a forward facing car seat and you know that child should still be rear facing and buckled in properly. You don’t know her so you decide it’s best not to interfere because your scared she may get upset or think your crazy.

Cameron all buckled in the WRONG way!

Cameron all buckled in the WRONG way! ( He should be rear facing and the straps should not be twisted.)


I can NOT stress this enough….TELL THEM HOW TO FIX IT!!! I was that mom… the one placing her child, the most important thing to her, in the car seat wrong. I was that mom that would share pictures like the one above on social media sites and never was corrected. I was that mom that would allow friends and family to take my children places and assumed they were safe in the car. I was that mom that would put hundreds of miles on the car without a care in the world assuming everything was perfect until…………..

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it was too late.

It only takes a second for your life to change.

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My son was 11 months and 27 days old when my (now EX) boyfriend ran a stop sign. My perfect little baby went through the windshield……. and was found dead in a ditch. He was resuscitated and spent 16 days in ICU. 8 surgeries in the first three days…. his brain was damaged beyond repair. It would not allow his body to absorb any nutrients and my child was starving himself to death. I had two choices….

1:Let him starve …. or

2:Remove life support

I had to make a choice.


May 13, 2013 Cameron grew his wings.

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Now, I’m that mom who doesn’t sleep at night. I’m that mom who spends most of her shopping trips avoiding the baby boy clothes. I am the mom that has learned from her mistakes.


And you know why??

…..because I wish every single day of my life now that someone would have told me I was doing it wrong BEFORE it was too late.


*below is a link to Cameron’s story . It has more detail of the night of the accident.-

Cameron’s facebook page-