There are people out there who dwell on the sadness and negativity of life and then there are the people who accept the worst and make the best out of it. I, a mother who has been tested beyond her limits, have accepted the fact that life itself isn’t made of fairy tales and rainbows but try to live everyday like it’s my last.
We read books and watch movies of love and family and set out on a journey to achieve the ultimate dream of the perfect life with kids, a spouse, dream home, and all the little things that make up the fairytale life that these books and movies perceive. Each story has these five main parts : 1. exposition 2. rising action 3. climax 4. falling action 5. resolution. Usually number three, the climax, is the most interesting part. Like when the girl breaks up with the guy only later to realize that they were meant for each other. Or when the man nearly looses his life fighting the fire. It could be anything.
That is the part of my life story that most people hear about.
You see, just a year and half ago, I found myself standing in the hallway of Our Lady of The Lake Hospital. My son was barely a year old and also, barely alive. He was thrown from the car in an accident and now he was fighting for life. He was in surgery for the 8th time in 3 days, and I was crumbling. The doctors and surgeons were trying their best to keep my baby alive, and I am forever grateful for that.
My life came to a halt when I was told that my baby boy, Cameron, was not going to make it. Everything around me stopped. My body went numb and I felt nothing. The doctor asked me repeatedly if I was okay. I couldn’t talk, couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t even cry. Some people say I was in shock, others just say it was a normal reaction.
May 13, 2013 Cameron passed away in my arms.
But like all stories, they go on. My life’s story still continues to develop even though my son’s life ended. It wasn’t until after loosing him, I realized what life really is about. I don’t stress over not having the perfect pair of boots for my favorite winter outfit. I don’t worry when money gets tight and the bills pile up. I don’t let the negativity of this world bring me down any more.
I have realized that the most treasured moments in life will not be buying that dream home, but the memories that will be made inside. It’s the laughter of my children playing at the park. It’s the way my baby girls curls bounce in the sunlight. The smile I get after kissing my oldest son good night before bed. These are the moments that most will take for granted. These are the moments that I live for now.
My little baby boy has taught me so much, even though he only knew three words. He has forever changed me and given me a new meaning of life. He has opened my eyes and heart to what’s important and has taught me to LIVE every single day like there is no tomorrow.